"Boo you whore!" It's Halloween!

We're getting closer and closer to my favorite holiday, Halloween. The days are dwindling as the weather starts to cool and the leaves begin to change. Every store in town has it's pumpkin decor out for all to see. Halloween is a fashion show like no other.

So, what's my one dislike of this frightasticly fashionable holiday? Girls who dress in lingerie and animal ears with high heels. Okay, so we all want to look sexy for parties but some people take it to far. I was wondering through a Halloween store the other day looking for a fashionista appropriate costume with just the right amount of sex appeal and I found some appallingly skanky costumes. How about the classic wanna be playboy bunny costume? We all know the one, Reese Whiterspoon wore one in Legally blonde and you can find it in every costume store. The black leotard with a white fluffy tail attached and a pair of ears? Doesn't get much worse than that. Your ass is almost completely exposed, your boobs are tumbling out of the top. I mean, really?! Combine that with the fact that if you don't have the body of the model wearing it it's just not right. Sorry, sweetheart but no.

There's a right way and a wrong way to do Halloween. I'm not saying you can't do sexy. And I mean, if you have the body of that model then go for it! However for those of us who don't have that body, we need better options that still have the sex appeal. Below I've got some ideas on how to do different costumes in the right way and the wrong way. These tips can be used for other costumes outside of the specific ones I'm applying them to.

Pirate
Wrong way:



Here's another case of a perfect body model. So, where to start with what's wrong with it? Let's start with the top. In order to pull that off you'd need a flat toned stomach. And believe me when I say I'd bet money that picture was airbrushed. Add the fact that her chest is barely covered. Together it creates a skanky pirate. I mean, you'd definitely catch male attention in this outfit.

Right way:
If you're not a fan of your legs try something like this with a long skirt. The top gives a hint of sex appeal with the off the shoulder look and a little bit of cleavage. This look is definitely more appropriate if you'll be attending a party that will have children in attendance.

If you're going out to a place without children in attendance there's a pirate look out there for you that's a little sexier but still better then the first example. This one is shorter but the petticoat underneath gives more coverage combine that with the fishnets and it's sexy but not ridiculous. This is definitely my favorite of the pirate costumes I've seen this season. It's sexy but sweet.

Vampire. It doesn't get more classic than a vampire costume.

Wrong way
Oh I don't even know where to start on this one. The fabric is just terrible. A skin tight shiny plastic that will do nothing but emphasis all those bumps and curves you don't want emphasized. It's short enough that with the wrong move you'll be showing the whole world everything. It's just so very wrong not to mention the fact that there's no hint of vampire to the costume at all.

Right way:
If you're going to do a vampire costume make it look like one. Yes, I know this year's trend is the burlesque vamp thing and that's fine too as long as you follow the rules. Personally, I believe in the classic vamp look. Just about anybody could pull off that particular costume. It's sexy in the right ways and you don't have to worry about which way you're moving and what's falling out when you move. There's always the cheap way to do a vamp costume too, throw on your favorite little black dress get a red cape at your local wal mart or marc's and add fangs. Dark makeup pale skin, and voila! you're a sexy vamp and you didn't have to spend 60 bucks on something you'll wear three times if you're lucky.






Storybook costumes. These are a particular favorite of mine. Everything from classic Disney characters to Goldilocks is being personified this year. These are one costume genre that I've yet to find a wrong way to do. they're all for the most part the same thing. A gingham print dress in a varying color along with accessories to help drive home your point. These particular costumes always look cute with curly pig tails tied with matching ribbon. Thigh highs with bows are a cute touch as well.
So, maybe I'm biased because this fashionista will be going as Red riding hood this year but in any case these costumes are cute without being too bad. They can be worn to any Halloween function without worry.








Whatever your choice for this years Halloween I hope you take the time to do it right! Just say no if you try it on and your parts are hangin' out.

Happy Halloween!

How about we bring back the '80's? How about no?

Oh retro, let me count the ways I despise you. Every year a decade we all wish would stay in the past pokes it's ugly little head back in and the select few choose to jump in feet first. I'm more of a testing the waters kinda gal. Who's to say how long this retro phase shall last? Certainly not I.
I'm not saying that everything about the '80's was completely terrible.
But like everything else in the world of fashion there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. So ladies, if you're gonna break out your favorite Madonna-esque gear do us all a favor and do it the correct way.

Good way:
-Lacey layers- Be careful with this particular trend because it could go wrong super quick. The key word here is layers. Lace is good in small portions. Try pairing it with a more modern trend. A lacey tank under a military jacket, for example.
-Off the shoulder tops- Go for it, girl! One thing I will say, however is invest in a strapless or at least a convertible bra. It doesn't get much trashier then a bra strap hanging out. It ruins the whole affect.
-Berets- Oh berets. The world's most timeless head gear. Now hear this, do not go out and buy a raspberry beret, 'the kind you find in a second hand store.' Retro has its place, but so does modern. At any target, wal mart, macy's, etc... you can find a more modern knit beret, a slouchy hat that can hide even your worst hair.
- Leopard print- Take a walk on the wild side but beware of the trashy side. A cute leopard print wrap dress, in. A skin tight asymmetrical one sleeve dress, OUT. OUT. OUT. Kay, thanks, bye.
- Tuxedo jackets- A personal obsession of mine. One of the easiest trends to dress up or down. Dark wash skinny jeans, a feminine blouse, chunky, beaded necklace and flats or for the daring stilettos, and hello bombshell! Perfect for casual Friday at the office or a day at school. Dress it up. Tank dresses with layered skirts are adorable but not always weather appropriate, as we head into the chillier seasons. Throw one of these jackets on and you can take your sassy spring dress and make it flirty for autumn.

Bad way:
- LEG WARMERS. JUST SAY NO! I don't care who you are, how much you weigh or what your best friend just said about how cute they look. They don't look cute, and more importantly they're not flattering. Just bypass that section in Forever 21.
- Acid wash jeans. Never FLATTERING. I repeat NEVER. Just don't even try. Acid wash jeans will take a fashion hero to fashion zero in a matter of seconds.
- Wedding singer-esque tuexedo jackets covered in sequins- Yes, they do exist. I was strolling through my favorite store the other day and I stumbled upon one. You are not Adam Sandler, this is not 1985. You're better off donating that $55 to a charity. You'll save yourself from fashion suicide and maybe help some hippies plant a tree or two.
- Flashdance sweaters- Going to goodwill buying a sweater and cutting it so it artfully falls off your shoulder like that girl from Flashdance (Jennifer Beals) is just a bad idea. Not only will you look like you got dressed in the dark, your best friend shall mock you until the end of time. Enough said.

There you have it, my thoughts on the '80's but to bring home my point let's talk about how this relates to my small towns distasteful choices.
I have seen all of these trends, particularly the bad ones done in many ways in my town. And yes, my best friend does own a Flashdance sweater, from the goodwill, in fact and I do mock her mercilessly every time she wears it.

Goodbye '80's.
Hello 2010.

Well it's been real folks. But for now do us all a favor, keep your eyes open for bad trends to share with your favorite fashion blogger. And say a prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages, especially the fashion ones.

Awkward First Posting

So, the worst part of starting a blog? That first awkward post matched only by that moment when you put on those fabulous new 4 inch stilettos for the first strut around town. You're shaky, afraid of falling and making a mockery of the shoes and yourself in the process. Well, here's to not falling.

Let's start with a simple introduction.
If you're here, then like me you have a passion for fashion that has sadly been stifled due to the world around you. Perhaps you live in a small town or in the suburbs. In any case most of us fashionistas know what it's like to live in a community where everyone around you lacks taste and style.

I'll bring up some of my favorite fashion no-no's but I would love to hear about some of yours as well.

So, I bring you Haute Couture in a small town.
I call forth the fashionable, the risk taking rebels and those who choose to be different and look fabulous doing it.
Together we can try to bring an end to fashion crimes. Or at least mock them.

Living in a small town? Fashion sense more like the big town? Can't breathe in a world where fashionable is baggy levi's and a local University sweatshirt?
Neither can I, so I bring you... Haute Couture in a small town. For us small town girls living in a lonely fashion world.
Unleash your fashion imagination with me. Fashion is a passion and we shall not be denied.