Oh retro, let me count the ways I despise you. Every year a decade we all wish would stay in the past pokes it's ugly little head back in and the select few choose to jump in feet first. I'm more of a testing the waters kinda gal. Who's to say how long this retro phase shall last? Certainly not I.
I'm not saying that everything about the '80's was completely terrible.
But like everything else in the world of fashion there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. So ladies, if you're gonna break out your favorite Madonna-esque gear do us all a favor and do it the correct way.
Good way:
-Lacey layers- Be careful with this particular trend because it could go wrong super quick. The key word here is layers. Lace is good in small portions. Try pairing it with a more modern trend. A lacey tank under a military jacket, for example.
-Off the shoulder tops- Go for it, girl! One thing I will say, however is invest in a strapless or at least a convertible bra. It doesn't get much trashier then a bra strap hanging out. It ruins the whole affect.
-Berets- Oh berets. The world's most timeless head gear. Now hear this, do not go out and buy a raspberry beret, 'the kind you find in a second hand store.' Retro has its place, but so does modern. At any target, wal mart, macy's, etc... you can find a more modern knit beret, a slouchy hat that can hide even your worst hair.
- Leopard print- Take a walk on the wild side but beware of the trashy side. A cute leopard print wrap dress, in. A skin tight asymmetrical one sleeve dress, OUT. OUT. OUT. Kay, thanks, bye.
- Tuxedo jackets- A personal obsession of mine. One of the easiest trends to dress up or down. Dark wash skinny jeans, a feminine blouse, chunky, beaded necklace and flats or for the daring stilettos, and hello bombshell! Perfect for casual Friday at the office or a day at school. Dress it up. Tank dresses with layered skirts are adorable but not always weather appropriate, as we head into the chillier seasons. Throw one of these jackets on and you can take your sassy spring dress and make it flirty for autumn.
Bad way:
- LEG WARMERS. JUST SAY NO! I don't care who you are, how much you weigh or what your best friend just said about how cute they look. They don't look cute, and more importantly they're not flattering. Just bypass that section in Forever 21.
- Acid wash jeans. Never FLATTERING. I repeat NEVER. Just don't even try. Acid wash jeans will take a fashion hero to fashion zero in a matter of seconds.
- Wedding singer-esque tuexedo jackets covered in sequins- Yes, they do exist. I was strolling through my favorite store the other day and I stumbled upon one. You are not Adam Sandler, this is not 1985. You're better off donating that $55 to a charity. You'll save yourself from fashion suicide and maybe help some hippies plant a tree or two.
- Flashdance sweaters- Going to goodwill buying a sweater and cutting it so it artfully falls off your shoulder like that girl from Flashdance (Jennifer Beals) is just a bad idea. Not only will you look like you got dressed in the dark, your best friend shall mock you until the end of time. Enough said.
There you have it, my thoughts on the '80's but to bring home my point let's talk about how this relates to my small towns distasteful choices.
I have seen all of these trends, particularly the bad ones done in many ways in my town. And yes, my best friend does own a Flashdance sweater, from the goodwill, in fact and I do mock her mercilessly every time she wears it.
Goodbye '80's.
Hello 2010.
Well it's been real folks. But for now do us all a favor, keep your eyes open for bad trends to share with your favorite fashion blogger. And say a prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages, especially the fashion ones.
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